Leading Our Peers

In my life I have found a common thread that seems to bond people together and that bond is not healthy. The bond that I am thinking about is dislike or criticism of others. For some reason many people gravitate toward those people in their lives that they can comfortably voice their criticisms of others with and even gain a sense of moral superiority from that person’s validation of those criticisms. I have also found that relationships held in place by those un-healthy feelings tend to wear us down and spread an overall feeling of cynicism and distrust.

There is nothing so disruptive to success in any organization than distrust and cynicism. Whether it is found in the home, the community, or the work place it pits people against one another and destroys any hope of common effort in reaching goals and winning. While it seems to be one of the natural tendencies of humankind, it is also one of our most self-destructive traits, because if the organizations to which we belong are not successful then we will ultimately fail.

I have also found that some of my most valued relationships are with those people with whom I feel compelled to be positive, to look for the good in others, to rejoice in the success of others, and to desire the best for others. I have found greater happiness when I surround myself with people who won’t listen to my negative words. They find them sophomoric and me immature for engaging in that behavior, so I don’t speak poorly of people around them. The odd thing is that somehow that effort translates itself into my actual feelings for that person, and I find myself actually liking them, wanting to help them, wanting to see them succeed. Before, I would take pleasure in seeing them fail, but now I desire to help them avoid failure.

If a key to success in any area of life is valuing people and desiring to see them succeed then I suggest that our success may begin when we start talking like successful people and stop talking like children who are consumed with selfishness.